Dont Let Anyone Make You Feel Guilty

Have you heard statements like "If you love me, you would do this for me." "You should be ashamed of yourself." Or "You hurt my feelings?" Statements like these are used by people to manipulate you into feeling guilty because you did a mistake, disappointed someone, or if some one wants a favor of you.

Dont let someone make you feel guilty. Guilt is a destructive emotion that you waste your time with it if you dont learn how to eliminate guilt for ever. To overcome and eliminate guilt from your life, do the following steps:

1. Know that the past cant be changed. Whatever happened or you have done in the past, you cant undo it or change it by feeling guilty. If you cry, weep, shout mornings and nights, you will not make the past different. It is better to concentrate on the present time and do something useful to enhance and improve your life and your future.

2. Try to learn from your experiences. If you hurt someone while not meaning it, apologize for what you have said or done and then forgive yourself. Learn from what happened in the past, so you wont repeat it again, but it is important to forgive yourself.

3. Let the people you deal with know that you cant be manipulated by what they say and cant make you feel guilty. If your boss gives you a hard time because you didnt work over time and start saying that there is no bonus for you to make you feel guilty, then you can say things like "that is perfectly fine. I will get the bonus next time." Once people see that you are confident of yourself and cant get manipulated by them into feeling guilty, they will know you are in control of your emotions.

To overcome guilt, you have to confront it. Dont deny guilt or run away from it. Analyze it and make amends with it. No matter how much time you spend feeling guilty, you are not going to be able to change it because it has already happened. You can learn from the past, but you cant change it.

Instead of feeling guilty over something that cant be changed, why dont you follow the above steps and then start concentrating on your goals?

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Overcoming Your Relationship Breakup STOP Dont Go!

It’s over. Your loved one is saying that they’re going to leave. They’re packing up their stuff and are ready to move to a new place. How do you stop the breakup from happening?

How do you get things back to the way they were? How do you get your loved one to unpack their bags at home instead of somewhere else? There are a lot of ways to deal with such a situation — a lot of things you should, and shouldn’t, do.

1) The “Shouldn’ts”

Women tend to beg when their loved one is on the verge of leaving. I can remember, in minute detail (unfortunately), the way I begged my ex to not leave our apartment. I literally got down on my knees and grabbed him to stop him from leaving.

Did you notice I said “ex”? The first time I did this, it did work and he didn’t leave. We talked through our differences and were able to stay together for another couple of months. Then, once again, he prepared to leave. I pulled my stunt and guess what? He left anyway.

Our relationship was officially over. Your first instinct as a woman may be to beg and plead, but it just belittles you and generally doesn’t work on your loved one.

Don’t try to make your loved one jealous. Some people go out and make new “friends” in an effort to make their significant other jealous enough to not leave. Most of the time, this doesn’t work, either. Instead of making the spouse jealous, it may give them the final push they need to leave for good. A slight bit of jealousy can give a relationship a spark, but not if it’s already on a downswing.

2) The “Shoulds”

The first thing you should do is step back, breathe, and give your loved one some room. If they feel hemmed in, they’re not going to want to stay with you. Remember the old saying “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar?”

In giving them what they want, you are respecting their time and are giving yourself time to cool down, as well. In the heat of the argument, things are often said aren’t meant by either party. Time alone gives you the chance to breathe and to move onto the next step.

Step two involves figuring out what’s really going on in the relationship. Why does your loved one want to break up? Have you been fighting recently? Are all the fights about the same thing, or are they about random things?

If all the fights are about the same thing, then you already know what you have to work on. If they are about random things, there is probably some underlying argument simmering below the surface that hasn’t been discussed. Work on trying to figure out what that is.

Approach your loved one and calmly ask them what their biggest problem with the relationship is. Sometimes their answer will give you the direction that you should move in next.

3) Ch-ch-ch-changes

Everybody changes; it’s a fact of life! Who you are when you’re a senior in high school is not who you’ll be when you’re 30. Who you are now may not be who you are in a few months.

This is often why relationships start to fall apart: you feel as though you don’t know the person you’re with anymore. Make some time to get to know each other again! Spend time together doing simple things: walking, talking, sitting in the park feeding the birds.

Do things together that require that you are both alone together. You could go to a movie, but you really can’t talk well there. The best thing to do is to find something you can do that allows you to communicate with each other.

Open yourself up to your partner. Sometimes we focus so much on what we want that we neglect to think of how our partner is feeling. Often, if you try to see things through their point of view, you will find that you are much more empathetic to their feelings. You can see their side of the argument, and if you can do that, then you can fix it.

Strong relationships are fixable, and it’s always better to try to stop a breakup before it happens than to try to fix it after it’s been broken. After all, you can always fix a crack in a vase, but it’s a lot more difficult to find all of the pieces once it’s broken.



"The Complete Retrieve A Lover Package" Can Help You Bring More Love, Understanding and Passion Into Your Relationship and Personal Live Today. Discover How You Can Save Your Relationship and Stop Your Break-ups today Without All The Fear And Heartache! Read ALL the RAVE REVIEWS!

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Relationship Breakup Dont Be Blindsided

Relationship breakup, what are the signs? Are you worried that your relationship is getting ready to crash and burn? Not sure what signs you should be on the lookout for? No one likes to be blindsided. Being blindsided always results in pain whether physical or emotional. Even if your relationship ends, the pain will be a little less if you can see it coming and brace for impact. There are some signs that all may not be well on the home front, if you keep your eyes open.

The first thing you need to remember is that we are usually pretty good at lying to ourselves. We are remarkably adept at keeping the blinders firmly in place if removing them would be to face certain pain. In the long run though you only do more harm than good by ignoring the inevitable. Its best to see things clearly, if you do you may actually have a chance to change the direction your relationship is taking and prevent the breakup.

Here are some signs that you need to keep an eye out for:

1. If you and your partner used to be joined at the hip but all of a sudden they seem to have a lot of more important things to do, you may be headed for a breakup. Of course, dont be a twit and ignore the fact that they just got a promotion and theyre a lot busier at work. If they dont have a reasonable excuse for their sudden absence you may want to sit them down and have a talk with them to try and figure out what is going on.

Make sure that you ask them what the problem is and not accuse them of anything. If you accuse them of something and they are just feeling a little down or overwhelmed you may just give them cause to end the relationship. Be careful to not come off defensively. Stay calm and rational when you talk to them.

2. Does your better half suddenly seem to need a lot of privacy? If their habits change and they become much more private it could be a sign that they are talking to someone and they dont want you to know. If they are suddenly leaving the room to talk on their cell phone, or they are taking their laptop into the other room, you may want to ask them, nicely, whats going on. If they say nothing that might well be your answer since its obvious that their behavior has changed and if they dont have a good reason why it could be that there isnt a good reason. Again, though, give them the benefit of the doubt. Youd look awfully stupid if you accused them of something when all they were doing was planning a great anniversary trip or surprise birthday party.

3. Sex, do you still have it as often as you once did? Is there a change in who initiates it? If your partner used to always want sex and suddenly they just dont seem interested, it could be a sign that they have found someone else. Of course, it could also be a sign that theyre tired, overwhelmed, depressed, etc. Dont jump to conclusions, just ask.

Many times the signs of a relationship breakup are pretty easy to spot, as long as youre not so afraid to see them that you ignore them. By spotting them early youve got a much better shot at dealing with whatever the issues are before the actual breakup. You might just be able to save your relationship by keeping your eyes wide open.

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Dont Let Others Control You Through Guilt

Allowing others to use guilt can result in your losing the ability to get what you want in relationships - it gives others power to define the relationship the way they want. Guilt can be expressed through:

1. "The Freeze" or "Silent Treatment"

Creating emotional tension to have ones way in a relationship.

2. "Good Guy vs. Bad Guy"

The controller interprets his or her motives positively and suggests that you will go along or be labeled negatively.

3. "If You Love Me"

Some guilt inducers try to get their way by suggesting any denial of their desires indicates that you do not love or care about them.

4. "Everyone Is Doing It"

This effort suggests that popular opinion or experts advice sides with the individuals desires. You are foolish if you do not agree with the majority opinion.

You must change your beliefs:

- stop telling yourself that giving in is no big thing.
- stop believing that what you want is bad or wrong.
- stop believing that you dont have a right to an opinion, or that your point of view is less legitimate than someone elses.
- stop trying to please the guilt manipulator.
- stop giving away your power.
- stop letting the guilt inducer dictate who you are and how you should feel.

Also change your response:

Let the person know that you understand their feelings and desires, but maintain your right to your desires.

Decide whether your desires are desirable and therefor open to compromise or whether they are something you do not want to do without, hence nonnegotiable. Stick to your guns - let your no mean no!

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Be a lamp or a lifeboat or a ladder

This line isnt just a lesson in moral science; it has endless wisdom wrapped in it. 

Law of attraction teaches us to be selfish, which is a very good thing. We start to think about ourselves. We start to pay attention to what we really want. We start making list after list of things that we would like to have in our reality. And all seems to be working out just fine. But then, one day we realize that although on technical level, Universe is working just fine, but still there are those top three desires on most people’s lists which don’t seem to be coming to pass.

And no matter how hard they try, visualization and everything, matters only seem to be getting worse. They know that they have to ‘let go’. But most do not know how. 

To those stuck at this level, I would suggest to listen to the wisdom of Rumi. When nothing seem to be working to distract you from your current predicament, try giving. Nothing works better than the joy of giving someone else the happiness that they had been looking for. Remembering, that we are all connected and that we are all one, also helps. Anything that we do for others is bound to come back to us, and that include all the good things. What we receive in our reality is always a reflection of what we give. 

So, go ahead and try this, help someone, do something to make someone feel good. Not only will it help to distract you from your current situation and thus help you to ‘let go’, but it will also bring more good things to you.

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Help save my marriage from failing

How to save marriage from failing after a disastrous ad catastrophic event has taken place may seem like a hard thing to do, but it can be done. There are many times when something horrible has happened in the life of a couple that the stress ends up being too much to bear. These are times it is important to know how to save marriage.

The need to know how to save marriage can come as a result of something in the marriage or relationship falling apart as the two struggle to deal with what has happened. Many times it happens after the death of a loved one or especially a child. Sometimes it will happen after a wreck. Maybe it was because of some natural disaster or an act of hatred by some unknown entity. It could be because of illness to one of you or anything else that happened that caused your world to fall apart.

There are some very important things that are how to save marriage from ending you need to know. You need to understand that people act and react differently to events. The most obvious is the differences between how men and women typically deal with things. Some people repress feelings while others are more outward and more obvious in their grieving. Understanding this and accepting it will help go a long way in knowing how to save marriage. Dont expect your loved one to react the same way that you do.

Another thing that you need to know is that grief many times rings out the worse in people and negative traits are often exaggerated. Patience is needed in understanding why some very negative changes take place in their personalities. You have to be able to see those changes taking place in yourself. Dont excuse the behavior and dont let harmful behaviors ruin things more but understand what is happening.

In both of the above marriage counseling is needed. Marriage counselors will usually be very adept at helping couples struggling through these times. Whether it is a Christian marriage or any other, there are places and people you can go to that will help you and the one you love get through this.

Here are some suggestions for other things that will help you get through this time:

~ Commit to each other that you are going to get through this together. Be a team fully supporting each other and understanding each other. When one is particularly weak at one point, be there. Find for them and help shoulder the load. Ask that the same be done for you.

~ Grow your support team. Find close friends and family that will help you through this. There is no reason that the two of you should go through this around. Find a network or a group of people who have gone through similar things. There is strength in numbers.

~ Find a reason to laugh again. Watch a silly sitcom on TV or some stupid funny movie. Watch one of those funny home movie shows for some good laughs. Spend time with fun loving people who you have a good time with Laughing will make you feel better and gives you a break from the weight you carry.

When you have suffered greatly, it doesnt mean that the marriage has to come to an end. It can be made stronger if you are serious about finding how to save marriage.

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MEDITATION FOR BEGINNERS

A FEW MEDITATION TECHNIQUES FOR THE NEWBIES ! 

First of all let me just make it clear that Meditation plays a huge role in the process of LOA , as it helps to bring your mind from the place of Negativity to The Neutral Zone , and sometimes even leads us to the positive zone. its an important tool to clear our minds of all the negativity we have collected over time. For people new to meditation , its a little hard at first to clear their mind as random thoughts keep popping up. Here are a few things that worked for me , when i was a newbie.

1. First of all , early morning or before bed , are by my experience the best times to meditate , But if for some reason you cant be free at these times , then anytime of the day will do. just try to keep aside 15 - 30 minutes undisturbed.

2. Loose that jeans ! get into something soft , loose fitting and comfortable , we want you to concentrate on you thoughts not the itches and scratches that comes with tight clothes.

3. Try finding a place that is not too hot or too cold , neither it should be so uncomfortable , that your bottom starts to hurt , nor so comfortable , that you lie down and drift off to sleep. The best place would be somewhere where you can get fresh natural air , the terrace , the park , the garden maybe . The Oxygen in that fresh air , really gets you going. and Yes , you can get HIGH on oxygen !

4. For those who are new to meditation , focusing on your breath does the job , you can feel the cool air going in and the warm air coming out of your nostrils , you can follow the flow of air all through to your lungs , or you can just just focus on the opening of your nostrils , and feel your breath.

5. to keep the mind from wandering , you can count your breath , 1 on in and 2 on out , again 1 on In and 2 on out . or you can mentally say IN as you draw air in or OUT as you release air out.

6. One of my personal favorites is saying the word OM while drawing in a long and deep breath. You can say OMMMMMMMMM out loud or in you mind either way it will work , and boy does it raises your Vibration !!

7. Try to force your face into a smile , the bigger the better , Forcing it holding it there is surely going to raise your vibration , and you will come out of the Meditation , Grinning and Happy.

You can now proceed with any of our previously suggested processes for making the universe do your bidding.

The QUICK MANIFESTATION DRILL -
 

This quick and easy exercise is for those times when you are feeling particularly enthusiastic and want to create something just for the fun of it. This is also for the newbies who wish to experiment and make sure that this stuff works. You can also use this to let go of something you really wish would come to you. Heres the drill, and its fun too, so enjoy

1. Find a quiet place where you wont be disturbed for 15-20 minutes.

2. Sit down comfortably, (you can also lie down), close you eyes and start taking deep but gentle breaths.

3. Keep you gentle focus on your breathing until your mind starts to calm.

4. Now, with your eyes closed, imagine yourself sitting in garden, and try to feel the details of your favorite garden; freshness in the air, warmth of sunshine on your face.

5. Imagine that there is a big bubble of pink color floating just above your head. Whatever wish you put in this bubble will come true.

6. Now as your eyes are still close, imagine your desire. Make the image as vivid as possible, imagine every little detail, the feel of its touch, its smell, and most importantly, the happiness inside you that this desire of yours will give you.

7. After its starts to feel real, put the object of your desire in the pink bubble thats floating just above your head. Trust that as soon as you put it there, your order with the universe is placed.

Imagine that pink bubble float away up in the sky. Keep tracking it till its no longer visible.

Universe has now started working on your desire, Feel the gratitude, as your wishes are being granted very soon.

You can now open your eyes, and do whatever is most fun for you.

Its OK if at first , you cant hold on to your focus , if any wandering thought comes to mind just acknowledge it and push it away gently. Its an achievement if you can hold your focus for 5 minutes only , with practice you can increase your timing and focus , and have a greater clarity and Focusing Ability.

Happy manifesting

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