Healing a broken heart from love gone bad? All country western songs titles aside, this is a hard thing to have to overcome. Take heart though, it really is possible to overcome the hurt, anger and resentment that you may feel after a breakup. It will take time and it will take a strong desire on your part to actually feel better and get back to living your life.
I know that last sentence may sound odd. You may be saying to yourself, Well thats stupid, of course I want to get over my pain. In a way though many people actually hold on to their pain. They may not mean to and they may not realize they are doing it, but they do it nonetheless. If you do not realize thats what youre doing then it can be really hard to overcome.
Make sure that you are not so hurt that you simply are afraid to try again. If you are, you really should consider finding some help. Life is too short to live in fear of being hurt. You can never really be happy and fulfilled if you are not willing to open your heart up.
A therapist can help you work through all your hurt and pain and help you find ways to heal them so that some day you can move on and find love again.
While you are working on healing the hurt, make sure that you take the time to live. Now isnt a good time to think about dating but it is a great time to spend time with your friends doing the things that you used to enjoy doing. Remember when you were single? what types of things did you enjoy doing? Most of us put at least a little of ourselves on hold when we start dating someone else. Its just the way it works out. Our new person doesnt like to do something that we like to do so we stop doing it while we are with them. Now is the time to do those things. They will bring you peace and allow you to remember the person you used to be and that can really help when you are healing a broken heart from love gone bad.
Another thing you should be doing during this time is to work on the things that you have been meaning to do. Just like the things that we gave up doing when we were part of a couple, there are also things that we were meaning to do but just never got around to. Now is the time to do them. Have you been meaning to take a class, learn a new language, or just rearrange your living room? Now is the time for a new start. Go for it. Try to have some fun. You might not think that you can have any fun quite yet but when you start doing the things you have always wanted to do you might just be surprised at how good you will start to feel.
Finding ways of being happy is the best way I know of for healing a broken heart from love gone bad.
While talking about unconditional love, one might think of a relationship between a mother and her child. That is a love without contingencies. In fact, by its very nature true love is unconditional. Love is patient and kind. It doesnt anger easily and keeps no record of wrongs. A mothers love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. It is not selfish or jealous. Unfortunately many people believe that a mothers love is the only unconditional love we can find on this planet. But let me tell you that I have experienced it with people other than my mother and once you have youll never settle for anything less.
Too many people confuse love with duty and have difficulties differentiating between them. They base their love for another person on how that person makes them feel. If the person stops making them feel good, or stops doing the things that make them feel good they stop loving the person and may even begin to recent or hate that person. Imagine a mother who stops loving her child because the child wont do chores. That would be a conditional love. She would be saying I love you as long as you keep your room clean, if you dont Ill stop loving you and maybe even hate you. This may sound silly but what chores or expectations do we place on our spouses or do they place on us? If not completed faithfully, is the love in the relationship questioned? What about the example of "Ill only love you as long as you love me back". Why would I stop loving you just because you dont love me? Isnt that selfish? To be clear, unconditional love is not comprised of any duties or contingent on what one person does for another.
Love is universal. It is not bounded to culture or region; it has a culture in itself. Loving someone is a gamble, people change in what seems like the blink of an eye. But real love is reflected from your steadfastness is the changing times. This is what makes love unconditional. In love you do not have to demand anything from your partner. Devotion is the only meaning of unconditional love.
Sometimes you may feel your partner is ignoring you for no reason, it really hurts but you have to bear it wholeheartedly. Maybe your lover is having some problems they dont want to share out of fear that you might get upset by hearing about them. This usually creates misunderstanding which can ruin the relationship from the roots. In such circumstances, the intensity of pure and unconditional love is tested. If you truly love your partner unconditionally it will be easier to stay firm. Youll be willing to take the time to seek out relationship advice from friends and websites like RelationshipAdvice911.com which let you ask questions and get other peoples opinions privately.
Some people get upset and lose hope on issues like love, relationships, dating and romance. They think they are simply unlucky in love if their love life is not going the way they want. What I feel about this is that ultimately finding unconditional love depends on how much you give. An unconditional love does not need to find its true lover rather, pure love makes its way on its own and unless you are paying attention you may not even recognize it when it comes your way.
Have you heard statements like "If you love me, you would do this for me." "You should be ashamed of yourself." Or "You hurt my feelings?" Statements like these are used by people to manipulate you into feeling guilty because you did a mistake, disappointed someone, or if some one wants a favor of you.
Dont let someone make you feel guilty. Guilt is a destructive emotion that you waste your time with it if you dont learn how to eliminate guilt for ever. To overcome and eliminate guilt from your life, do the following steps:
1. Know that the past cant be changed. Whatever happened or you have done in the past, you cant undo it or change it by feeling guilty. If you cry, weep, shout mornings and nights, you will not make the past different. It is better to concentrate on the present time and do something useful to enhance and improve your life and your future.
2. Try to learn from your experiences. If you hurt someone while not meaning it, apologize for what you have said or done and then forgive yourself. Learn from what happened in the past, so you wont repeat it again, but it is important to forgive yourself.
3. Let the people you deal with know that you cant be manipulated by what they say and cant make you feel guilty. If your boss gives you a hard time because you didnt work over time and start saying that there is no bonus for you to make you feel guilty, then you can say things like "that is perfectly fine. I will get the bonus next time." Once people see that you are confident of yourself and cant get manipulated by them into feeling guilty, they will know you are in control of your emotions.
To overcome guilt, you have to confront it. Dont deny guilt or run away from it. Analyze it and make amends with it. No matter how much time you spend feeling guilty, you are not going to be able to change it because it has already happened. You can learn from the past, but you cant change it.
Instead of feeling guilty over something that cant be changed, why dont you follow the above steps and then start concentrating on your goals?
Can you and your ex get back together-is it really possible
When tw? people breakup after hav?ng be?n tog?th?r f?r som? time, regardl??s ?f h?w long the time the two spent together, ?r th? conditions surrounding the break up ther? ?? ?lways some question wh?th?r they w?ll ev?r g?t back together. If you find ??urs?lf ask?ng thi? of y?ur m??t recent breakup and y?ur ?x th?n ?t le??t get s?me advice befor? ??u proceed w?th ?n? plan f?r reconciliation, you want to kn?w th?t y?u ar? not making a mistake if you ?n fact d? g? forward w?th y?ur plan to win your ?x back.
Were y?u guys ever? r??ll? happy together? If y?u ??n truly answer yes t? th?? question then chances are there ?? s?m?thing there that y?u two ??n work with. But kee? ?n mind it’s alw??? easy after ? breakup to onl? think ?f th? happy times, n?t ?nl? that, ??meth?ng provided th? impetus for th? breakup. That i? a? the? say “the elephant ?n the room” that must be dealt with. You ?nd y?ur ex ma? ?t?ll love ???h oth?r a great deal but will you b? abl? t? put th? conditions surrounding th? breakup beh?nd th? tw? ?f you? May the bett?r question th?t ?h?uld be asked is wheth?r it will re?ll? be worth it ?r not?
Obviously when making su?h ? determination a? wheth?r to reunite with ?n ?x th?r? is mu?h t? consider. After spending some time with ??ur mate and g?tting t? know them ?ou now have ??rt?in knowledge of them y?u didnt necessarily hav? wh?n ??u f?rst met them, ?nd in c?rt??n cases th?? might not be ? good thing. Will ??u be abl? t? deal w?th y?ur ex’s excessive complaining or bickering wh?n it ??m?s t? cert??n things? Or s?m? of th?ir eccentricities that w?uld tend to drive you crazy. Things like th??r habit ?f keeping th?ir home ?o clean that it w?uld border ?n obsession?
If y?u w?nt t? g?t back with y?ur ?x you must first ?sk yourself i? th?? ?ometh?ng that I truly want? Not onl? that, but will it b? what? b??t f?r me? If ??u feel that ??u c?n confidently answer ?n th? affirmative t? tho?? two questions then my advice would be to contact your ?x ?nd attempt to gauge if ?ou ?an sense any interest ?n there part ?s well.
During thi? discussion ?ou ?houldn’t ?u?t blurt out th?t ??u ?t?ll love them, that ??u w?nt th?m back and or hav?nt be abl? t? sleep ?nd that y?u c?nt live w?th?ut them, etc. For obvious reasons, it makes y?u l?ok desperate. Maybe ?t’s just me, but desperation ju?t doesn’t l??k attractive ?n anyone. Although th?y w?ll want t? know th?t ??u ?re suffering ?ust ?s much a? they are, the? would rather n?t h?ve to hear y?u s?? ?t ?n such ?n act ?f desperation. Just the fact that ?ou’v? taken th? time t? call speaks for itself. Of course it d?esnt speak t? th? degree ?f your suffering ?n th? wake of th? breakup but wh?t it d?es say is that ?ou st?ll care, possibly answering ?t le??t on? of th??r questions.
At thi? point ?ou will w?nt to tak? things nice ?nd slow. Don’t obsessively call ??ur ?x asking them to tak? ?ou back. Doing ?? will onl? drive ?ou guys furth?r ?part ?nd serve to underscore their decision to part ways with y?u in the first place. So ?u?t give y?ur ?x some needed space by showing them that y?u “have a life” and th?t d?spite th? breakup ??u are do?ng ju?t that, living ??ur life. They w?ll a??re??ate th?s level of maturity demonstrated from you ?nd it may even assist them ?n deciding ?n ?our favor.
Not ?nl? that ?f ??u t?ke ? step back, give them the much needed time ?nd space, youll be d??ng ??ur?elf a favor ?? well. They may se? ??u as m?re desirable bec?us? ??u ?r? permitting them time to miss you. You know wh?t they s?? ?b?ut absence? It do?? make the heart grow fonder.
Getting back with ?n ex i? not ?s hard ?s ??u ma? think. If y?u h?v? the right skills and utilize the right approach it ??n happen f?r you. Find out n?w ?t Relationship Problems Advice
from How to Get Your Ex Back - Make Ex Want You Back http://ift.tt/1u5iR8s
If you want to get your girlfriend back you have to do the things contrary to what she might thing you will still do or the opposite you have been thought to do.making your girlfriend to come back by promising her you will change,showering her with flowers, gift and love letters or even trying persuasion tricks,sneaky tactics or manipulative mind games do not work.Only counter intuitive strategies things that you have never considered doing before will rap your girlfriends attention and course her to run back in to your arms.Here are some shocking truths you should know.
Shocking Truth number 1
Do not believe those so called experts who claim that you can get back with your girlfriend with in a specific period of time like 30 days,7days, or even 2 days.
There is no magic way that will bring your girlfriend back within a given number of days because every relationship is unique.Not one specific time line or strategy is true for every situation.Although it is possible to get your ex-girlfriend back in seven days or less.The majority of guys who succeed in getting their girl back do so in the second month,some take two weeks or less and some take three months or more depending on how faithfully they implement their counter intuitive strategies.
Shocking truth number 2
If you are feeling pain over your breakup,you may be killing your chances of getting her back.
You see when you suffer over the break up of your relationship with your ex-girlfriend it causes you to idealize the relationship you had with her.That is you turn to glorify her by focusing only on the positive aspects of the relationship.This then causes you to react out of need and desperation rather than true desire and this only pushes your ex-girlfriend further away from you.Nothing turns a woman "OFF" more than a man who is needy and desperate.The sooner you get rid of those feeling of dis-pare the sooner your ex girlfriend will instantly realize that you do not just NEED HER you simply WANT HER.There is a huge difference between the two and it is a difference that shows sense and respond to immediately.You will not understand the power of this strategy until you try it.
Shocking Truth number three
A slight change in your approach will cause her to practically beg to be with you.
All the relationship books,courses and so called experts give the following advice; -Act like you are OK with her decision to leave.The problem is they left some thing out that is very important.The key is act like you are OK but you are not OK with her decision to break up with you.That will seems like a slide change but one that will make a tremendous difference from the respond you will get from her.If you act or pretend that every thing is OK she will see right through it and you will not trigger the psychological reaction you want which is to make her want to come back to you. you also need to make your ex-girlfriend know you are OK with her decision to break up with you but yo can not plainly tell her this.If you use the wrong approach to let her you are doing just fine with out her, you may course her to want to forget about you all together.If you take the right approach it will be long before she is back in your arms.
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Shocking truth number four
The one thing you must never tell a girl after a break up.
Most guys make this mistake after their girl friend breaks up with them.They tell her "I Love you and I will always be there for you.You may thing saying this ten words may course her to come back but it actually creates the opposite of that.It gives her the permission to go out and do what ever she pleases,even date other guys with the assurance that she can always come back to you when ever she wants.And if she is already dating some one else,telling her this ten words is even worst.She will then take the time to get to know the other guy fully compare him to you and then decide who she wants to be with.That is like letting her have her cake and eat it too.
Shocking truth number five
Do not remain friends with your ex-girlfriend!
Most relationship books,curses and so called relationship experts tell you that remaining fiends with your ex girlfriend is a good strategy for getting her back.This is misleading advice based on the wrong assumption that if you remain friends with your ex you will keep other guys away and you will eventually get back together.Actually in 95% of cases,remaining friends with a girl after she breaks up with you increases the likely hood that she will move on to another guy.There are only two circumstances that is OK to remain friends with your ex,you will learn them when you study the counter intuitive strategies.
Shocking truth number six
The "2-tricks"you must never try with your ex (these will push her away to the point of no return)
What is worst than not getting your ex girlfriend back is getting her back only to lose her again soon after some times only a few days or a few weeks.She can also end up hating you on top of it all.This is exactly what happens when you pull tricks,tactics and manipulative mind games that the so call relationship experts teach you.The two most common of these tricks that back fire big time are; -Deliberately ignoring your ex-girlfriend and
This is reverse psychology at its worst.were reverse psychology does play an important role of getting your girlfriend back,the way of using it may destroy your chances of ever reuniting with your girlfriend and even you do succeed in getting her back with tricks,you will most likely lose her again before it is too long.Why ,because the problems that coursed the first break up will still be there.Tricks would not get in to the roots of these problems.
Remember in other to get your ex girlfriend back you most do the opposite of what you should do.
Marriage is meant to be a wonderful thing, and it usually is at the beginning. But the honeymoon phase doesnt last forever. Its at this stage that most couples start noticing little problems that they had never noticed before. Perhaps they head over to the relationship section of the bookstore looking for books on marriage.
They may feel somewhat embarrassed, but at least they are doing something. On the other hand, some people will choose to pretend none of these things are happening, or they will ignore them in the hopes they will go away on their own; the last thing they want to do is confront their spouse.
Thats one of the great things about books on marriage. They can help you to make your marriage better, but you can also read them privately. This means you can do things to improve your situation without necessarily having to confront your spouse.
Okay, thats all well and good, but at some point you are going to have to discuss your problems. Again, marriage books can be a wonderful resource. They can show you how to talk about the tough subjects. And if you want to make it even easier, you can give your spouse the same book to read, and then let them know you would be interested in hearing their thoughts about it. This is a great way to break the ice, and is also a non-threatening way to do it.
When you read a book on marriage, take what you can from it. You may not agree with all of the ideas, or they may not fit your specific situation. No problem. Just use the parts of the book that will help. Nobody will hold it against you, trust me. What counts is that you are willing to at least do something.
If you have sent any time looking for books on marriage, you have probably noticed that there is a nearly endless number of titles available. However, not all titles are created equally. The first thing you should look for is that the author has a good reputation. You want to be sure the person giving you advice on something as important as your marriage is qualified to do so.
When considering books on marriage read the back cover and inside flaps to get an idea of the authors credentials. You will also want to try to get a feel for their writing style to see if it will resonate with you. Another thing you can do is go online and read reviews of any marriage books you are thinking about getting. However, dont read the professional reviews, instead, look for reviews written by normal people. They will tell it like it is, and often share stories about how the book worked for them.
If your marriage could use some improvement, then you are not alone. The good news is that there are plenty of books on marriage and there is at least one that will be able to help you.
