Family members are not trained in how to support someone with diabetes and it takes practice. Having patience, encouraging the good support, and gently reminding a family member when they offer support that doesnt work is critical. When feeling supported always make sure that the person supporting you knows you feel supported and they receive positive feedback.
Often the family will do really well supporting the patient for the first week in a way that doesnt feel comfortable for them and they dont receive positive feedback. The family has a different view of what support is best, such as making sure the right foods are eaten, wrong actions arent taken, and trying to control the situation. Especially when a loved one has a disease, theres an uncomfortable feeling with the way the patient wants to be supported versus the way
the family wants to support them.
When the family does support in the manner desired by the patient and positive feedback is not received, theres this wanting to revert to old ways. When this occurs the family receives negative feedback such as "you werent even listening". Notice the kind of support your loved ones give you, provide positive feedback and gently remind them when the support does go off track. For example, you could say: "I know you love me and want to support me and when you do ABC, it is wonderful but it doesnt help as much when you do DEF."
Family members need to practice doing something new. Most family members dont say "Thank you for supporting me the way I want to be supported." Its not normal conversation and it has to be practiced and honed. You may appreciate the support and because the feedback is not normally said it is an uncomfortable communication style that has to be learned.
Love and patience is the key between family and patient because the diagnosis is new to everyone. As the family and patient get better and better at communicating, things shift and people forget the new communication style but that is why regular check-ins are necessary.
When the family does support in the manner desired by the patient and positive feedback is not received, theres this wanting to revert to old ways. When this occurs the family receives negative feedback such as "you werent even listening". Notice the kind of support your loved ones give you, provide positive feedback and gently remind them when the support does go off track. For example, you could say: "I know you love me and want to support me and when you do ABC, it is wonderful but it doesnt help as much when you do DEF."
Family members need to practice doing something new. Most family members dont say "Thank you for supporting me the way I want to be supported." Its not normal conversation and it has to be practiced and honed. You may appreciate the support and because the feedback is not normally said it is an uncomfortable communication style that has to be learned.
Love and patience is the key between family and patient because the diagnosis is new to everyone. As the family and patient get better and better at communicating, things shift and people forget the new communication style but that is why regular check-ins are necessary.
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